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Monkey business horror game

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She’s a caustic, sardonic presence who guides you into hellish mazes to hunt up fragments of gemstones you need to make the ring out of, I think? Seriously, whatever story you’ll find here is so forgettable your first few ragequits from the game will wipe it from your memory. Lucky for you, you’ve got Bierce to guide you through this ordeal, basically Elvira if you tack on 30 years to her prime and allow her breasts to defy the laws of physics.

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Supposedly this is a “story-driven” title but all you’re going to get is that you’re in trouble and you need a magic ring to fix things. And while they clearly tried to expand upon the idea, they did so with a busty grandma and cheap jumpscares instead of anything worthwhile. That didn’t stop the folks behind Dark Deception from turning it into a game, though, a straight twist on the classic formula that goes out of its way to be frustratingly cruel. Oh, you haven’t heard that one? Probably because it’s a terrible idea.

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one: It’s Pac-Man, except you run around in the maze in first-person and you can’t see the ghosts until it’s too late.

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